There has to be someone.

After my last blog, I have been thinking quite a bit. I realise that I may have sounded quite negative last week and I was feeling a bit lonely, but now I am determined to make some sort of plan.

I asked myself so many questions – what was wrong with me? Why can’t I be like other moms with young kids, just chatting about their beautiful child (and have nothing else to have a meaningful conversation about)? I know why, and I have never wanted to answer that question out loud. It’s because of Joe…

Okay, I’m back…I needed a few tissues and some fresh air for a moment.

“It’s because of Joe…” – it’s not that any of those previous “friends” said anything nasty about Joe, but you just get that feeling of sympathetic looks when others speak about their children’s accomplishments and then the stares of absolute horror when Joe would be completely overwhelmed “and his mom even tried to comfort him, he just needs discipline” (obviously they just saw it as a tantrum).

So, after a few failed attempts at friendship, I have been back to being on my own and I am okay with that, but now I need someone to speak to. I need someone to listen.

I now realise that I am probably not going to find that person in friendship circles, perhaps I need to pay someone to listen to me??? How bizarre is that thought?!

But wait, maybe it’s not such a bad idea – surely a professional would be able to listen without judging?

A psychologist? No.

A psychiatrist? No.

Maybe a pediatrician…that sounds like an option.

I’ll let you know who I find!